This masculinity is about to get toxic
Speed recap: Hwarang, Episode 4
DogBird makes it back home after being arrested by the Queen for his antics at the parade, but poor old Master Ahnji is stuck with his ex, The Queen.
Meanwhile, It's time for some escapade nonsense, and we return to our Resident Dickheads Soo-ho and Ban-ryu as they meet for their fight. Turns out that they're fighting in a sacred spot - as carefully orchestrated by Wi-hwa - so they all get busted by the feds. In the worst Careers Day known to man, he tells them the Queen will spare them if they sign up to be Hwarangs. Nice.
Victorious, the Queen strikes a deal with Wi-hwa that they can each bring one random into Hwarang, no questions asked. Unsurprisingly, the Queen sends for DogBird, and it looks like he's going to have to play ball if Ahnji is going to be freed.
Meanwhile, Ban-ryu who two daddies are having it out because he got into so much shit. A great deal of slapping ensures.
In a decidedly strange makeover montage, The King manages to make himself Wi-hwa's Hwarang Bonus.
Ah-ro starts to teach DogBird how to read, and it's really awkward because they're stilling do this brother-sister thing, interlaced with some clearly un-fraternal feelings.
And then she teaches him how to ride a horse. Ah-ro's horse bolts, and the King (who happens to be just hanging around) manages to intercede. He clocks DogBird's bracelet from when they last fought.
As luck would have it, the King and DogBird are then recruited to play chuk-guk in Soo-ho and Ban-ryu's grudge match.
Next morning, it's Hwarang enrolment day. But on the way, disaster strikes as Ah-ro is kidnapped by the baddies that are probably working on behalf of Ban-ryu's Bad Dads. The King, who again happens to be just hanging around, and DogBird both end up held at knifepoint as a thank-you for trying to help.
What did we learn?
TaeTae's got a complex
Just as our wayward young public school boys are opting to join Hwarang instead of face torture and certain death, Han-sung (Kim Taehyung) has a wobble. Given that he's the last of his line, he's not sure what to do, and it's down to his 'half-breed' (mothered by a servant) brother to slap him into line. This will surely turn out well.
The Queen's collarbones are distracting
There are some very tense exchanges between Silla's Brad and Jen, aka The Queen and Master Ahnji. But all of these things are offset when you notice that the Queen has some extraordinary collarbones happening.
And to be honest, that's kind of it
This is a little bit of a slow episode, as we gear up for Hwarang to actually get started, so we had to make do with a lot of sport (heterosexual vulgarity) and a half-arsed training montage. So anyway, here's the boppy end credits theme tune: