The single greatest moment of television is in this episode
Speed recap: Hwarang, Episode 5
DogBird and the King are hanging out. Or rather, are tied up and suspended from the ceiling after having very unsuccessfully tried to rescue Ah-ro from her kidnappers. Meanwhile, Hwarang orientation day (aka the founding ceremony) is getting started.
Big Henchman comes in to murder the King and DogBird, and a farcical fight ensues where it's almost like neither of these two has confidently kicked arse before. NB they both have.
Our two inconsistent heroes escape THROUGH WORKING AS A TEAM [HEART EYES], doing fight scenes that are more like the Indiana Jones show at MGM Studios. This is amazing. Punchy noises. Mysterious archer saves their arses.
They make it in the nick of time to Hwarang House, where Queenie gets the shock of her life as her own son enlists as a Hwarang.
Meanwhile, the Bad Ajusshis are cottoning on to the idea that the new Hwarang "Master Ahnji's son" (aka DogBird) may be an imposter, but they think it's someone who's seen the king's face.
And the first task of the Hwarang is...to get really drunk. I expect this of Oxford, but not of an upstanding institution like His Majesty's Cadre of Hotties. But apparently, Wi-wha has his reasons, and who am I to judge?
What did we learn?
Toxic masculinity is choosing to pick a fight when you're both suspended from a ceiling
Well, at least it allowed the King to find out that the reason DogBird hangs around with Ah-ro so much is because he's her (sorta) brother, which will surely clear things up (it absolutely will not).
WENCH
We seem to be really into this word in this episode.
Just so you know, the Big Henchman is a baddie
The directors indicate this through subtle acts such as smearing blood over his forehead and licking raw meat.
For one night only, telepathy
This episode's storytelling device that's never seen again in this series is seemingly telepathic conversations between key characters.
This is absolutely the greatest line in the history of television
Just going to leave this here because it's stunning.